i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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