Where is the hickey?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
