sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
