it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
