This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
