So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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