would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
