in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
