How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
