Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
