im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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