At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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