Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
