My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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