I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
