But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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