Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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