did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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