I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize