i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
