i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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