I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
