i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
