I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
