Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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