Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize