C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
