I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
