Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry camejojo224 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

I totes stole your whore crown.

(239): View more from Florida

With great power comes great responsibility.

Fav 57 6366 1040
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

Fav 30 7510 1211
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.

Fav 9 1290 4448
share tweet
(951): View more from California

I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.

Fav 4 1503 2573
share tweet
(253): View more from Washington

No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions

Fav 11 2637 1132
share tweet
(417): View more from Missouri

How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

Fav 17 1984 2643
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

Fav 6 2194 829
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(563): View more from Iowa

Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.

Fav 2 864 435
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.

Fav 0 60 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT