why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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