he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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