I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
