Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
