I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
