i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
