Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
