Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
