We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
