Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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