I bet he comes in French.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
