By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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