My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
