Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
