So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
