Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize