Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
