Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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