You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
