Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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