they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
